Why did so many people die while I somehow survived? That is the #1 question many survivors of trauma ask themselves. I know I have done it many, many times over the years.

Was it luck? God’s will? Survival instinct? A sense of urgency? I’ve never really been able to come up with a definitive answer.

Eventually, the next question for me became, “What now?” So, I retired, we moved to Charlotte, NC, and raised our family far away from the hustle and bustle of NYC. Not the normal hustle and bustle. Soldiers and police officers were now roaming the streets of Manhattan with sub-machine guns. Not exactly where we wanted to raise our family.

A year or so after the move, I started a residential painting business. Running this business, raising my children, going from one sporting event to another, and quite honestly dealing with my own health issues filled most days. These health issues were definitely related to 9/11 and working for 21 years as a firefighter and lieutenant in Manhattan. Such as, skin cancer in seven different areas that were exposed to the toxic dust caused by the collapse, PTSD and its related health problems. Specifically, a heart attack, depression, anger, hypervigilance, and pain. Enough pain to require surgery. With treatment, medication, and my family’s help, I personally have been able to deal with all of that and just about everything else 9/11 has thrown my way.